On January 19 – the feast of the Theophany of Christ according to the Julian calendar – our devoted brother in Christ, Reader Moses (Timothy) Traver, was blessed to begin his life as a novice at the monastery of the Holy Cross in Wayne, West Virginia. He will now labor there for a period of years before, if God wills it, being tonsured into the first rank of the monastic life, that of the ‘riassophore’.
Reader Moses was an integral part of our community, and he will be sorely missed. At the same time, we are reassured that: from within our parish family, God is working to call up monastic vocations; that Reader Moses is now fulfilling the plan God has set for him; and that he will now be praying constantly for us and for the whole world.
Prior to his departure, he spoke with Fr. John about his time in our parish community. This interview is included below.
First, we really appreciate your membership and participation in Parish life over the years. What are the most memorable experiences you have had here at St. Andrew’s?
St. Andrew’s will always have a special place in my heart no matter where I go as this was the Church where I was catechized, received into the faith, ordained a reader and served in for the past 6 years. It is a beautiful church with many remarkable people who I have been blessed to know and I pray it will continue to grow and flourish for many years to come.
The most memorable experience for me was during my and Andrew Temple’s ordination as readers. Archbishop Michael had picked out two epistle readings that Andrew and I would read as newly ordained readers. Vladyka Michael had chosen me to read Galatians 2:20; “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” This has always been one of my favorite biblical verses so the fact that the Archbishop chose this very verse for me to read was extremely special and powerful.
I have enjoyed seeing the baptisms and weddings in our Church as well as the funerals and Panakhidas. We can see the full cycle of life just within the walls of the Church and that is a special privilege to see. As much as I love and revere the Divine Liturgy, I must say that one of the highlights for me every week is coming for Vespers. The stillness and reverence has always moved me and I am elated that our Church keeps this tradition.
How important do you think spiritual reading was for your spiritual journey?
Spiritual reading is a very important component especially reading the scriptures and the Psalter, but I’ve learned that spiritual praxis is the most important thing in the spiritual life. When you read great works like “The Ladder of Divine Ascent” by St. John Climacus or “Unseen Warfare” by St. Nicodemus and St. Theophan, you gain a greater respect for the people who have embarked on the difficult road of asceticism and fought hard against the demons and their own passions. But until you really try to pray and engage in that spiritual warfare in your own life, you will only have a topical and some-what “romantic” view of the Christian spiritual life. You can read about it all you want, but if you don’t put those things into practice, your reading is not doing much for you.
When choosing which spiritual work to read, it is always best to read books recommended by your spiritual father as he will have a better understanding of which books will help you and which may cause confusion or undisciplined zeal. You (Father John) have provided me with a lot of great reading material over the years, although a lot of it went over my head as I don’t have the mental capacity to comprehend these deep spiritual insights – haha. I still go back to many of the works he recommended to me and learn something new every time I re-read them.
You were particularly faithful to the sacrament of Confession, on a regular basis. Why did you follow that practice? What were the benefits that you experienced from frequent confession? Why do you think that people shy away from confessing their sins?
Confession is such a beautiful sacrament and one that is often very misunderstood. People both inside and outside the Church raise the same criticism, “If God forgives sins, why do I need to confess to a priest? Why can’t I just confess directly to God in prayer?”
Firstly, you are not confessing to the priest, you are confessing to God and the priest is a witness of this confession. Secondly, our Lord gave the apostles the power to “bind and loose” sins as outlined in Matthew 18:18. This distinction has been handed down from the bishops to the priests for the past 2000 years. Thirdly, confession used to be done in front of the entire congregation of the Church as shown in the book of Acts, so confessing before others is a tradition extending back to the Apostles. Lastly, yes, we should be confessing our sins to God directly in our personal prayer rules, but receiving absolution from your priest is a crucial and truly liberating act that brings you back into the fullness of the faith.
Confession is also beneficial as it allows you to receive spiritual guidance from your priest and helps you take practical steps towards correcting those sinful habits that have taken root in us. I have received great benefit from confession as I have had many sins weigh heavily on me that I couldn’t talk about with anyone else. When I brought those sins to confession and discussed them out loud, it gave me closure and receiving absolution removed them from me forever. One of my all-time favorite bible verses is Psalms 103:12 “As far as the east is from the west, so far hath He removed our transgressions from us.” When we truly confess our sins and repent, God obliterates those sins and they are no longer a part of us. Christ came to liberate us from sin, but as long as we hold onto these sins and avoid confessing them they will weigh us down and lead us into despondency. The sacrament of confession holds me accountable which causes me to think twice before committing a sin in my day-to-day life.
I feel that our culture has become more shameless and we no longer recognize the destructiveness of sin, in fact many sins are celebrated in our current culture. God does not separate from us when we sin, we separate ourselves from God by our sins. Sin moves us away from God, and the farther we move away from God, the farther we move into destruction. I cannot speak on why many people find it difficult to confess their sins as this can be caused by various issues; trauma, shame, negligence, ignorance, apathy, etc. Confession isn’t easy, but it is a sacrament of our Church that was given to us as a mercy and a help. We should all be taking advantage of this salvific sacrament and recognise God’s love in removing our sins from us.
How long have you been aware of an interest in monasticism, and why?
As many people may or may not know, I’ve had an interesting and somewhat tumultuous spiritual journey over the past 15 years and I’ve had the privilege to experience many spiritual highs and lows on this road. Throughout my spiritual journey, Monasticism has been a slight but constant calling that I’ve felt drawn to. I grew up as a Roman Catholic and at the age of about 11 or 12 I wanted to become a priest in a Catholic monastic order although I didn’t really know why.
I had no idea what monasticism really was yet I felt that desire quite strongly. Even as a child as young as 6, I was always fascinated by the idea of a person devoting their entire life to God, even though I had no real understanding of who or what God was at that time. One monk explained it best; “the monastic desire is not always a thunderstrike moment, it is more like a gradual tugging of your heart towards God” (my own paraphrase). This is exactly how I would describe it in my life as well. Although I’ve felt my heart move toward a monastic vocation I still have not excluded the possibility of marriage in my life. I just want to be what God wills me to be and I am genuinely open to whatever my future holds. Monasticism and married life are equally blessed (but very different) ascetic paths and I am working on finding which one will bring me closer to God. This six month candidacy period is the first step to figuring out if the monastic vocation is indeed the path I will walk to work out my salvation.
Can you explain the purpose of monasticism in a way that an ordinary person might be able to understand?
A monk’s job is to pray, struggle and repent. Simple as that. When we pray we commune directly with God and the closer we get to God the more we realize our own unworthiness which breeds a spirit of humility and repentance. When we are humble and empty ourselves of our passions God can work through us unimpeded and that blesses the entire world. A monk must pray for the salvation of the whole world and that is why Monasteries are so important for all of us, believers and unbelievers alike. Like St. Seraphim of Sarov said, “Acquire the spirit of peace and thousands around you will be saved.” This is not only the job of the monastics, but the mission of all Christians.
Monastics have the advantage of being “outside the world” meaning they don’t have to worry about various worldly obligations like their career, providing for their families, bills, house payments, etc. In the monastery your entire day is devoted to prayer, the cycle of Church services and labor. I believe it was Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnika that spoke about how he was far more impressed with the spiritual life of people living in the world than he was with his fellow monks and co-strugglers in the monastery. All of us are called to be Saints, not some of us. All of us can attain that high level of humility and repentance, but it is a life-long and difficult struggle. During my last visit to West Virginia, a novice said something very poignant, “When coming here, you pay a lot, but you get paid so much more.” It is a difficult but necessary and blessed struggle.
If you decide to stay in the monastery, this will be a huge benefit to our Parish since we will have the benefit of your prayers. If you decide to return, we hope you will consider returning to your current role and consider further service to the Church, possibly as a deacon. Either way, we have been greatly enriched by your presence. Is there anything that we can do to further support or assist you in your spiritual journey?
Firstly, I would like to thank everybody from the bottom of my heart. All of you have been instrumental in my formation as an Orthodox Christian and by your prayers I am able to begin this next step in my life. I am trying to embark on this discernment phase with a completely open mind. If I go to Holy Cross and realize the monastic life is the life I must live, great! If I realize that it’s not for me and I decide to come back home, great! I am looking forward to figuring out what my future holds.
The only thing I ask of all of you is to pray for me over the next six months. The monastic life is filled with various trials and tribulations and I am going to need as much help as possible. Your prayers will benefit me greatly. I will be praying for St. Andrew’s Church, St. John the Theologian Church and St. Dionysius the Areopagite Monastery during my time at Holy Cross and I hope all the Orthodox communities on Long Island will continue to bring the Light of Christ to the masses. I pray that everyone will enjoy many more fruitful years as we all prepare for the Heavenly Kingdom, God willing. Thank you and God Bless.